The need for acceptance is met by receiving another person willingly and unconditionally especially when the other person’s behavior has been imperfect; being willing to continue loving another in spite of offenses or differences. Rom. 15:7 “Therefore, accept one another just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God.”

Realize that your ability to accept others unconditionally is dependent on how much you personally experience God’s acceptance of you. The template for accepting others is “just as Christ also accepted us.” Matt. 10:8 says that “freely you have received, freely give.” As with all the needs, we receive from God (directly or indirectly through others) and then freely give to others.

Accept that you have intrinsic worth and value apart from your performance because you are made in God’s image. “While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5:8). He lovingly moved toward us relationally and died for us while we were yet sinners. He did not wait for us to correct all the things about us that bother Him.

Ponder this. Think back when you become a Christian. Since that time have you done anything wrong? Probably yes. At the time God saved you, did He know that you would commit that wrong? Yes, because He knows all things past, present and future! And yet He saved you regardless! Knowing that we will betray him in the many ways of sin, He still established a relationship with us. Most of us do not love that well — but we should.

Look beyond faults and meet needs. The closer we get to our partner, the more we see their imperfections. Jesus accepted a thief on a cross (Lu. 23:39), a woman caught in adultery (Jn. 8:1), and Peter when he failed (Jn. 21:15) without condoning their behavior (“go and sin no more” Jn. 8:1). He loved all people unconditionally and forgave freely, even from the cross saying “Father forgive them they do not know what they are doing” Lu. 23:34.

Quickly forgive when your partner offends you. You married a sinner (as did they). Reject the false notion that “it is my forgiveness and I can give it to whomever I wish.” Forgiveness is a divine commodity, we receive if from God and then as good stewards we pass it along. To forgive does not mean we forget but that we are no longer holding the offense against them relationally. You can and should forgive even if your partner does not admit their wrong.

Love your partner with God’s unmerited, unconditional and unlimited love. God’s love is unmerited, we don’t deserve it and can’t earn it; unconditional, not based on what we do or don’t do); and unlimited, it will never run out or be depleted.