It seems that there are entirely too many stipulations and rules when it comes to dating and male-female friendships these days. Case in point: who should pay for what, when to call, who can call, and the like. And I, for one, can’t stand it. Is it really that complicated? Ok, it is that complicated, but should it be? No.
The main thing I don’t understand is this concept that some people have that says the man must pay for everything. Where does that come from?
I know men feel the need to provide. I understand it — I am, after all, a man — and that’s great, but does that mean that your girl can’t take you out to dinner every now and again? Does that mean that if you’re hanging out with a female friend that she can’t pick up the tab for dinner? Doesn’t she make money too? Wasn’t she all gung-ho about being i-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t before you met and started dating? She bought and paid for all her own stuff then, right? So clearly she’s capable of paying for things… but why doesn’t she? What’s changed?
Any good relationship is all about shared responsibility. It’s about working 50-50 with the other person in the relationship. Why shouldn’t paying for food and activities be included in that 50%? I’m not saying that you have to split everything down the middle, but a little reciprocity never hurt anyone. Has it?
I know that there are some people, specifically some men, who flat out refuse to let a woman pay for anything. Honestly, that’s a pride issue. That’s your male ego puffing up and not wanting to accept anything from anyone, but especially from a woman. Get over it. It’s really not that serious.
For me, personally, if I’m out with female friends, we’ll normally go dutch and split it, or I’ll get this time, she’ll get the next. When it comes to dating, I’ll definitely pay for the first few dates, but once we are in a committed relationship, I would like her to share some of the responsibility and pay for a few things here and there. We don’t necessarily have to make sure that if I’ve spent $100 this month, that you’ve spent the same, but it’s more of the principle of the idea for me.
But that’s me. What do you think? Should there be reciprocity in who pays for what in a relationship, or even a friendship? Should it be something that’s discussed openly or just assumed? Why do men seem to have such an issue with women paying for things?
