By Stuart McDonald November 10, 2009 11:57 am
I have to say that I had a great time writing last week’s post about the “Five Reasons I Hate Dating Christians.” I find it a bit indicting that, as a Christian myself, it was that easy to come up with things that we do wrong when it comes to dating, and even relationships in general. Not surprisingly a lot of people — some Christian, some not — agreed with the points. My goal wasn’t to say that, as a Christian, you shouldn’t be dating Christians, but rather to bring some attention to the things to avoid in your relationships. For those who read that aren’t Christians, well, do you. Having never been in a relationship without being a Christian, so I can’t speak to your situation.
So in order to offer some redemption to last week’s post, and balance things out, here are the three reasons I love dating Christians (as a Christian — because, honestly, if I wasn’t a Christian, I don’t know that I’d date one).
1. They’re not afraid of marriage. If there’s one thing Christians are not scared of, it’s marriage. Perhaps it’s just because it allows them to have sex, but perhaps there’s more to it. After all, there are certain things that can only be accomplished in the world through a healthy, Godly marriage. Why? Because a monogamous marriage between a man and a woman was God’s ultimate plan for the world to grow and prosper.
Too often the non-believers of the world, for whatever reason, are afraid to commit to another person for the rest of their lives. So what do they do? They spend five to ten years with another person, but often fail to commit, and when the relationship ends, both parties are left back where they were before the relationship even started. This isn’t to say that Christians don’t fall into this same trap or that there aren’t Christians who are afraid of commitment, but to say that the majority of Christians are more likely to marry than be in a long-term relationship with no marital commitment.
2. There’s always more than meets the eye. One of the things that breaks my heart is people who look incredible but have absolutely no depth to them. I know you know a few of these types — they’re very beautiful, attractive people, but as soon as you have a conversation about the deeper things in life, like, for instance, what they want to do with their, they have nothing to say.
The benefit of a Christian is that they see the big picture; they’re eternally minded. The understand that the issues, trials, and tribulations of life are not even about them, but rather to be used to help someone else down the road. While being a Christian doesn’t instantly make you a better person, the Holy Spirit does. He gives us the Fruits of the Spirit — love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control — in order to show the world His love through us.
5. It’s about more than sex. It’s so much easier for myself, as well as the others who are committed to remaining abstinent from sex until we’re married, to remain that way when we have partners that are committed to the same idea. Now, for those Christians who want to have sex (even though the Bible is clear that sex outside of marriage — God’s original intent — is a sin) this point is pretty much void for you. Trust me, I’ve tried dating people who wanted to have sex when I was committed to abstaining until marriage and it’s nearly pointless. At some point, one party will give in. Or go elsewhere. Then all your relationship was for what? Nothing.
I wonder if sex ever makes any relationship easier. Does it make things simpler? If it does, it’s probably not a bad idea, but every time I can think of sex being involved in a relationship, things have become more complicated than they were before. I’m also not trying to run the risk of any unexpected pregnancy or diseases and, while condoms work most of the time, they’re not foolproof, nor do they protect you from the emotional repercussions.
Admittedly, I struggled through this post a lot more than “Five Reasons I Hate Dating Christians” for reasons I can’t fully explain. Perhaps it’s because it’s easier to see the flaws and faults in any situation. But now I leave it in your hands. What did I miss? What do you love about dating Christians? And yes, I know there are only three for love whereas there were five for the things I hate. I was struggling to pull together five, but I want hear from you!
[For more from Stuart McDonald, check out his personal blog and follow him on Twitter]
