By Oretha Winston
The holiday season is approaching quickly. The Thanksgiving and New Year season is supposed to be a time of good cheer.For many, the holiday season is a time of sadness, tears and mounting stress. Most singles and couples are dreading the trip home because you will be confronted with curious and often rude questions.
Usually they are as follows:
1- When are you getting married? This question can sometimes be loaded if you are traveling alone. If you are well into your adulthood and you are returning home without a spouse or in the very least a serious relationship people are going to want to know what you are doing about this. The answer is simple if you are seeing someone and you want to end the conversation. You can reply, “I don’t know that I am looking at that at the moment, but it may be sometime in the future.” If you are not serious with someone you can always replay, “I haven’t really thought about marriage.” That usually leaves the questioner befuddled and sidetracked. They will immediately change the subject.
2- When are you going to have children? If you are recently married this question is on constant replay no matter who you run into. In most cases it is always asked at the most inopportune time, while slicing another piece of pie or loading your car. You and your spouse may have decided that the time is not right or you may be having some difficulties conceiving. Do not feel obligated to answer this question. Be honest. Tell the person who is asking that you and your wife/husband “are not talking about your plans with anyone. Please don’t take it personal.”
3-When are you going to settle down? This question usually triggers two responses for singles. It either sends you into a whirl wind of the “Holiday blues” or the “It’s really none of your business tizzy”. I personally deal with the question with a good dose of humor. I reply to the person asking, “Do you care to match me up with someone you know?” I find this answer almost immediately shuts them down. Why? You have just challenged their knowledge and ability to make you feel less than you are. You have let them know that you are fully in control and functional. If you are so lucky they may just be able to introduce you to the love of your life.
Those questions come from well meaning relatives and friends who are trying to look out for your welfare. Remember the holidays are to be enjoyed. Smile and take a deep breath.