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Every woman wants the secret to getting a good man, who pays bills, has good credit, is strong, sexy and powerful. A man who is well respected in public and a compassionate king at home. Everybody’s chiming in on what women are doing wrong. Some books say to get over it, he’s just not that into you. Some say a woman needs to follow a set of rules. According to some of these books, you can get a man to marry you in less than three years, while thinking like a man and acting like a lady! Aren’t you confused? I read some of these books, and I can just say that theories like these are not absolute. They cause you to think that there is something wrong with you that only having a husband can fix. But once some of us get husbands, then what? Getting a man through tricks, and acting a certain way is good, but how do you even go about marriage?

Well ladies, today I am going to give you the secret of all secrets on how to be the woman that every good man desires! Ready for it?

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalms 37:4

What does that mean, delighting in the Lord? It means to take pleasures and make priority the things that God wants you to do. He knows that women want and need companionship. Some of us think our lives will be perfect when we get a husband. But deep down, we know our desires are sometimes more than that. How many of us want to travel the world, help children and young adults, love to paint, sew, draw and write, yet put all our energy into dating? How many of us sit on the couch, complaining about loneliness when we have family members we haven’t seen, friends we only Facebook and a Bible that is collecting dust in the corner. Delighting in what God says and doing for others is essential to unlocking a life that is abundant and full, not stagnant and desperate.

Men can find five star chicks, bad chicks and all sorts of women. Who knows a woman who enjoys doing God’s work, and in turn, is joyful and content? Who can find a woman like that? I think the quintessential woman “who has it all” in the Bible is the infamous Proverbs 31 woman. What is it about her that inspires so many and is it even possible to be that way in the 21st century?

The Virtuous Wife

Proverbs 31:10-31

Who can find a virtuous wife?

For her worth is far above rubies.

The heart of her husband safely trusts her;

So he will have no lack of gain.

She does him good and not evil

All the days of her life.

She seeks wool and flax,

And willingly works with her hands.

She is like the merchant ships,

She brings her food from afar.

She also rises while it is yet night,

And provides food for her household,

And a portion for her maidservants.

She considers a field and buys it;

From her profits she plants a vineyard.

She girds herself with strength,

And strengthens her arms.

She perceives that her merchandise is good,

And her lamp does not go out by night.

She stretches out her hands to the distaff,

And her hand holds the spindle.

She extends her hand to the poor,

Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.

She is not afraid of snow for her household,

For all her household is clothed with scarlet.

She makes tapestry for herself;

Her clothing is fine linen and purple.

Her husband is known in the gates,

When he sits among the elders of the land.

She makes linen garments and sells them,

And supplies sashes for the merchants.

Strength and honor are her clothing;

She shall rejoice in time to come.

She opens her mouth with wisdom,

And on her tongue is the law of kindness.

She watches over the ways of her household,

And does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children rise up and call her blessed;

Her husband also, and he praises her:

“ Many daughters have done well,

But you excel them all.”

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,

But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.

Give her of the fruit of her hands,

And let her own works praise her in the gates.

This woman surely does a lot. Let’s see, she has a family, works outside of the home, takes care of needy people and the women who look up to her. She makes sure that her family is dressed well, she buys them good food and not garbage, she takes care of the home finances and she doesn’t sit around gossiping about other people. She is trustworthy, while her husband is out working the land. Nobody can say she is out acting crazy while he is at work. All of those attributes make her great, but what makes her most attractive to her husband is her fear of the Lord. I didn’t make that up, it’s in the Bible!

Her children rise up and call her blessed;

Her husband also, and he praises her:

“ Many daughters have done well,

But you excel them all.”

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,

But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.

Give her of the fruit of her hands,

And let her own works praise her in the gates.

Proverbs 31:28-31

Many women are accomplished, goal-setting, hard working, homemakers. But a woman who delights in God is showered with respect, adoration and praise. You can do all kinds of things to get a man’s attention, but a man who knows God and is looking for a virtuous woman is looking for a Proverbs 31 lady. This lady enjoys her own business, and blessing the people she loves. She enjoys the wisdom of God and fears Him. In return, people (including her husband) love her. And when it comes down to it, we are all looking for love. People are drawn the the light of God, and when we exude that we attract the love of so many. In return for being a believer who follow His direction, God gives us the things that we really want in our hearts. Isn’t that a more beautiful and simple concept? Isn’t that a more desirable outcome, instead of trying to think like Steve Harvey? Seek to think like God instead!